Virtual Bourgeois

Just An Analog Guy Trying to Upgrade For a Digital World

“Mommy, is Thanksgiving a fraud?”

Posted by Gerald on November 18, 2009

According to some of my friends at work, I might soon become responsible for some dewey-eyed pre-schooler asking this of his or her mother.

The community college where I teach is home to a well-regarded day-care center that is the core of a program for training people to work with pre-K children.  Earlier this week, the other history instructor at the college – who is also the mother of a child who attends the college’s pre-school – was asked to some and talk to the little kiddies about Thanksgiving.  We both found this funny, given that – like me – she can’t discuss this topic without frothing a bit and using words like “genocide.”  In any case, she can’t do this when they asked due to her class schedule.

Our assistant dean has now passed the request on to me.  Joy.

I’m really caught here.  On the one hand, while I know not to describe rape, robbery, and murder to little kids, I’m at a loss as to what I should say if I accept.  On the other hand, if I do accept I can at least try to talk about this without all of the layers of mythology (another colleague’s child brought home a kindergarten assignment on T-day that is marked correct if the Pilgrims are described as “eating and playing games” with the Native Americans).

My best thought so far is a friend’s suggestion that I just talk about the Native Americans – that these people were farmers, maybe show some artists renderings, and try to get the message across that not all Native Americans are Plains Indians.

Of course, I could also wind up with a room filled with terrified children looking at the huge man with his newly regrown beard.

I don’t know.

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A Homecoming

Posted by Gerald on November 7, 2009

Rather than discussing why I haven’t been writing, I’m just going to dive in…

This week I witnessed one of the sweetest moments I’ve ever seen.  Before I begin the story, I should note that I’ve had a long-standing policy of not naming people who haven’t named themselves or given me permission to name them in these posts.  I hope in this way to maintain some privacy for those around me.  This does require some circumlocution, however.

To set the stage I need to mention – or remind – readers that I have a friend and colleague whose husband is an officer in the National Guard and that he has been deployed to Iraq for several months.  I was in that friend’s office Thursday afternoon with some other folks.  We were sharing our general lack of desire to do anything work-related (it seems to have been a particularly low-motivation week here in Lake Woebegone Community College).  Right then, my friend got an incomplete text message and then a call from her husband, so we all cleared the room.  A few minutes later she came out and told us that he was “somewhere where he could see the campus on a satellite” and that although he wasn’t supposed to, he wanted her to go out to the fountain in the center of campus so he could take a picture.  This became a group thing very quickly.  Two of my other colleagues even worked up a sign.  At just before 3 pm local (the appointed time) we headed out.

No – even then I didn’t get suspicious.  I was wondering a couple of things.  First, how this whole thing was supposed to be timed.  I mean, were we just going to wave upwards for several minutes?  Still, he is a smart guy and I thought he would probably text her again at the appropriate moment.  I also was wondering which direction we should be looking in.  After all, it is a big sky out there and the chances this thing was directly overhead – and in a geosynchronous orbit - were slight, so it was bound to be at an angle to us.  Still, I wasn’t suspicious.

Yes, there is none so blind as he who will not see.  Somewhere, Occam was laughing his ass off.

So, seven of the faculty and staff of our fine institution, including your humble narrator, spread around the fountain and began waving at the empty blue sky.  A few onlookers seemed rather curious – as well they might at such a spectacle.  Right then a soldier walked up beside me and spoke to my friend.

Nope, I still wasn’t there…

Despite the fact that this man was about eighteen inches from me, it wasn’t until my friend started screaming and then crying that I recognized him.  Her husband had come back from Iraq on leave without telling anyone and had set this whole thing up to surprise her.

I just laughed – mostly at me – but also with the sheer joy of the whole thing.  It was clever, funny, romantic, and beautiful.  I don’t think the rest of us were supposed to be invited out for the photo op, and weren’t supposed to see all of this.  I felt a little like a voyeur looking at something I shouldn’t, or that I was sharing in something that wasn’t mine.  Still, it was so good to see her happy and so good to see him back that I can’t feel anything but privileged to have been a witness to that moment.

May there soon be tens of thousands more moments like it  all over this country.

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My Life in Summer

Posted by Gerald on June 12, 2009

I rolled out of bed at about 11 this morning.  Not surprising given that I was up until 3 am.  Before even eating breakfast I logged on to my course and graded the assignments that came in during the preceding 24 hours or so and then answered all my e-mail.  Now, for the rest of the day, I will  probably read and listen to music, probably watch a dvd at some point, and putter around the house.

This seems to be the pattern this summer.  Since I’m on a nine-month contract I am basically an adjunct teaching one online course until August.  In the last couple of years I felt motivated to go in to the office more regularly that I have so far this summer.  I’m not sure if the difference is how burnt out I felt by the end of the spring semester (which is quite possible); or if it is my nagging minor but ongoing irritation at the state having just taken money back from me (and every other state employee) for work I had already done (also possible); or if I’m just lazy (very possible).

As to the “late to bed and late to rise” – well that is just me and I think it might be genetic.  If I am just left to go to sleep when my body says sleep and wake up when my body says wake up I hit this schedule – asleep at about 2 or 3 am and awake at 10 or 11.  I’m not out hitting the bars – last night I was reading a novel called “The Steel Tide” about the D-Day invasion.  I’ve always been like this.  My Dad was a morning person and constantly busted my chops about being so draggy at oh-dark-thirty when he would force me to get up.  My Mom, however, was more like me.  I’ve had people tell me how they just can’t sleep in the morning after the sun is up.  I’ve discovered that I actually get my best and deepest sleep between about 4 am and about 9 am.  I sometimes resent having to fashion my whole life to fit other people’s circadian rythms.

I’m not going anywhere.  First, I like being home.  I’m not someone who is too susceptible to cabin fever.  It would be worse if I never was gewtting out, but I went to the office on Monday and went out for pizza and a movie with some friends on Tuesday.  I have no desire to be “out enjoying the day.”  First – I have hay fever and will for a few more weeks.  Second I am large and hate temperatures beyond about 80.  I also hate humidity.  I live in North frickin Carolina.  Man I miss the summers in Iowa! (and yes, I would gladly take those winters if I could have those summers)  Now, it could be worse – I could live in Louisiana or something, but this is bad enough.  I like my air conditioning and my favorite things to do involve books, movies, or listening to music. 

Seriously, though, the spring months were so stressful and hectic this year that it has felt great to just stop and let the tensions drain away.  I am actually enjoying the lazy days of this summer.

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The Decemberists Show

Posted by Gerald on June 7, 2009

Thursday, June 4, my friend Steve and I went to see the Decemberists in concert at the Raleigh Memorial Auditorium. We drove there in the leading edge of a band of thunderstorms that made the drive, uh, interesting (thank you Steve) and which had Steve’s wife Mandy a bit concerned. While we saw a few fender-benders along the way – which created a couple traffic jams – we got there and back safely.

We had planned to see the band last year, but that show was cancelled. Steve had seen them before but this was my first exposure to them live. It was a good show. I think I can sum up my reaction in something I said to Steve between songs; “This show is reminding me of everything I like about hearing live music and everything I hate about hearing live music.”

The last concert I saw was something like 12 or 13 years ago. I saw REM at Iowa State University, I think touring behind the “Monster” album if I’m remembering right. It was a good show, but my real memory is that I got back at 3 am to find a phone message waiting for me from a friend who also shared my adviser at Iowa (this friend was also named Steve, coincidentally). Steve told me to call him back “as soon as I got in” – but given that it was 3 am and that he had two kids I waited until morning. That was when I first learned that my adviser was going to have a sex-change operation. The events of that day rather overshadowed the evening before.

In any case, I just hadn’t had occasion to see a live concert since then. I’m now 45 and I have to say that was on my mind. While I am unapologetic about liking what I like, I also don’t want to be that pathetic old guy trying to fit in with the kids. Upon arriving though, I found that the crowd varied in age as much as the crowd I had been in at my only Rolling Stones concert. Most of the audience were college-aged, which I expected, but there were also parents with kids and there were people – without kids – as old or older than me. Sitting right in front of us were three kids who were barely out of high school if they were out at all. This really surprised me – the younger people I mean. I know what I appreciate about the Decemberists’ music and it includes things live subtlties in the lyrics and references to the past and to everything from Celtic mythology to Shakespeare. I was left wondering if they were hearing those same things or if something else brought them to this band.

The opening band was Blind Pilot. Steve and I were both unfamiliar with them. I liked their music well enough, but I’d need to listen to it a bit more to determine if I’m really a fan. I might go looking the next time I’m buying music. Still, they performed well and were engaging on-stage.

The Decemberists’ show was divided into two halves.

First they performed their latest album “The Hazards of Love” straight through. For those readers who haven’t heard it, this album is a sort of “rock opera” (that is recorded – and was played live – without any breaks between songs). It draws heavily on themes from British folk tales and songs (I’m reminded most strongly of Tam Lin). They performed well – with one really stand-out element I’ll get to in a moment – but this part of the show suffered from the problem the album does. I’d give the music here a solid B+, but the whole thing does – as Steve was pointing out after the show – suffer from being a bit of an intellectual exercise. You are never quite swept away by it. I think the problem is that they are trying to be true to traditions of folk music, indie rock, and the rock opera a la Pete Townshend or Jimmy Page. The result doesn’t quite jell, but I think Steve was right when he said of this “Ambition can be a good thing.”

The stand-out element from this album and from the performance of it at the show is Shara Worden from My Beautiful Diamond (a band about which I know nothing). She sings the part of a sort of fairie queen and brings to it a vocal power immediately reminiscent of Ann Wilson from Heart. Onpstage she was dynamic and her solo was the high point of the first half show as it is also the high point of the album. I also have to say I was surprised at how small she is. Sort of like Pat Benatar she packs a lot of vocal power into a very small frame.

After a short intermission the band returned to play a selection of favorites from thier various albums beginning with “Leslie Ann Levine” from “Castaways and Cutouts” – which always struck me as a great opening song. In many ways this was the better half of the show because the band was able to do what they do best. I thoroughly enjoyed these songs. During an extended instrumental bit during “The Chimbley Sweep” from “Her Majesty the Decemberists,” Colin Meloy and Chris Funk began an amusing guitar duel which culminated with each of them reaching into the audience and brining a kid on stage who took over the instrument. I’m still not sure how staged this was, because at least one of the kids was suspiciously good. Still, it was fun. Again, Shara Worden stole the show, though. At the end of the set, but before the obligatory encore, the band slipped into Heart’s “Crazy on You” and Worden came back on stage along with the woman who sings the female lead in Hazards (Becky Stark from Lavender Diamond – another band I am completely unfamiliar with). They split the verses of the song between them. The band’s instrumental performance of the song was worthy of the original and Worden’s vocals were fantastic. Stark did well, better than I would have assumed, but Worden just brought the house down. The encore brought things down a bit (where else was there to go?) and ended with “Sons and Daughters” from “The Crane Wife”, which always struck me as an excellent closing song. All in all it was a good set.

Some of the kids in the crowd were bubbling and calling this “the best show ever.” I can’t really agree – I’ve seen the Stones. Still, it was a good show and I’m really glad I went.

Now – I mentioned my quote earlier about this reminding me of what I love and hate about live music. Here is the hate part – members of the crowd. The woman behind me with the ululating shriek worthy of a mourning Bedouin woman. The guy who had to bellow “Sons and Daughters!” at every halt during the second half of the show. The two stumbling drunk girls who came in after the band began playing Hazards and sat down next to me – which prompted an extended exchange involving the ushers when the real ticket holders arrived. All the people who came in late rather than sit through what was a perfectly goos opening band. The replacing of bic lighter with cellphone lights. All this irritated me – but not enough to make it into an evening that I didn’t enjoy.

Other moments of note – my first McDonalds food in a couple of years (who knew they were a coffee bar?) – the girl in front of us and the two guys who weren’t getting anywhere with her – the most confusing parking deck I’ve ever been in – and the guy with the crappy Fiat who definitely wasn’t getting any from his girlfriend that night.

Let me just finish by saying thanks again to Steve. He is the person who turned me on to the Decemberists to begin with – and in the process got me really listening to music again after several years. He also did the driving. I think that had I done that the irritation factor would have overwhelmed my enjoyment of the evening. Thanks, dude. I’m going to miss you.

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Summer Session

Posted by Gerald on June 1, 2009

Our summer session began today.  Even though I’m teaching only one online class I came in to the office to deal with the first day crises and panic attacks – of which there have been few I’m happy to say.

As I was writing this, one of my colleagues came into my office and presented me with a Burger King prize – a plastic Mr. Spock figure (older Leonard Nimoy, not younger Zachary Quinto) with an oversized head and a button on the back which causes him to say “Live long and prosper.”

I think I’ll just leave things at that.

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A Long Time Gone

Posted by Gerald on May 22, 2009

I’m back.

Well, I never really went away.  In essence – due to the adoption of new texts and the move to World Civ – my five courses this semester (my two eight week World Civ courses had over 50 students so they counted that as three toward my usual load of six a semester) included three preps.  This was very tiring.

I also found myself with some other tasks.

The other adviser for Phi Theta Kappa decided to not do that anymore, so I had to deal with getting lists, sending letters, and dealing with inductions myself (with the assistance of our School’s admin support person, may she be blessed).

Then came the big one.  Our college has gone through some major reorganization this year.  Part of this was that a whole bunch of department heads (who were both administration and faculty) are being replaced by three assistant deans and three associate deans spread across three new “Schools”.  I was asked by the Dean of my School to serve as the chair for the selection committee for the assistant and associate deans for our area.  This was an internal search and as a result I knew everyone who was applying.  I consider three of them friends.  This was a difficult and very emotionally stressful process.  That it was going on near the end of the semester didn’t make it easier.  We picked good candidates and all went well.  Still, I’m glad to see the end of that and of this semester.

I’ve enjoyed a nice week off since our commencement ceremony last Friday.  I’m looking forward to a weekend of doing little but watching the Memorial Day movies on TCM.

More as the spirit moves me…

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Processing

Posted by Gerald on February 24, 2009

I just found out my maternal grandfather has died.

We weren’t particularly close.  I grew up far away from my extended family.  He and my father had some issues between them that were never really resolved.  We lived very different lives.  Still, he was my grandfather.  He was never as openly affectionate as my paternal grandfather was, but still showed me affection in his way.  I saw more of that when I occasionally encountered him as an adult. 

I haven’t seen him in many years.  Since that last meeting he developed Alzheimer’s.  He finally succumbed to pneumonia after a bout of flu last week.  He was 86.

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So I’m Pathetic and Trendy

Posted by Gerald on February 20, 2009

In the aftermath of my last blog post I got a bunch of Facebook friend requests and so I went ahead and signed up.

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Again

Posted by Gerald on February 18, 2009

It seems like everybody is on Facebook except me.  I never get invited to the cool kids’ parties.  I’d join now, but that would seem pathetic and trendy.

Oh, well…

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In No Particular Order…

Posted by Gerald on February 18, 2009

Our visiting scholar has returned to Beijing.  He had to cut his year short due to developments at his home university.  I had occasion to drive him to many events and we spent a lot of time talking.  I began to see China from a completely new place and I had the experience of trying to help him understand everything from western ideas of the soul to American politics.  As an anthropologist he showed a desire to dive into every experience he could and talking to him about them showed me my home in a new light.  I miss him, but it is cool to know that I’ve got a place to stay in Beijing should I ever be able to go there.

The week before Valentine’s saw the anniversary of my mother’s death.  I finally packed up her clothes and donated them to a clothing drive for a local drug rehabilitation program.  The process was harder than I imagined, but not overly so.  Still, it made for an unsettling week.  I finished it off by going out for beer and pizza with my good friend Steve.  Much venting ensued…

Saturday I attended an anti-Valentine’s party (no one with a Valentine could attend – except our hostess whose husband is in the early stages of his second deployment to Iraq.)  We ate pizza and boneless hot wings then watched two movies of my choice: The War of the Roses and Heathers.  I felt both forwarded the evening’s theme – better to be alone than with the wrong person.

Battlestar Galactica is the best damn piece of tv drama I’ve seen in a long time – maybe ever.

I’m not too sure about Dollhouse yet.

I may be setting myself up for disappointment, but I’m really getting charged about the Watchmen movie.  If plans hold I might go with a group to see it at the Imax theater in Charlotte or Raleigh.

Ever since Monday’s episode of Chuck I’ve had “Once in a Lifetime” by the Talking Heads playing in my brain.

I’m hoping to get to see the Decemberists on their upcoming tour.

A student told me today that my advice to read the textbook both before and after class was really helping her put the pieces together.

You’ve got to be happy with the little victories.

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